I Don’t Mean to Toot My Own Horn But…Toot Toot!

Another amazing review of “Christmas Sucks”! Best Christmas book of the season no less!! Check it out at:
http://www.edgesanfrancisco.com/index.php?ch=style&sc=life&sc2=news&sc3=&id=82125

By the way, if you want to read the introduction, I just added it to this site. Click on the “Christmas Sucks” tab above!

What The Economy Has In Common With A Post-Partum Private Part

Let’s face it, times are hard. Every day there seems to be more bad news about the financial situation. To paraphrase Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, “Lay offs and stock loss and debt! Oh shit!” The so-called “experts” (basically Suzi Orman and the Mad Money guy I see everywhere these days!) tell us that, unless we need money right away, we should hold tight and ride it out.

I’m no financial expert, but I am an expert in parenting (see all my parenting books on the right). So, for all you new mothers who are stressed out enough just caring for your newborn, think of the economy as your vagina after childbirth. Both areas have taken quite a beating and there certainly has been some damage. That’s why, whenever you get your investment statements or you’re tempted to check out your financial websites to see how you’re faring, take the advice your doctor gave you about your nether-regions: DON’T LOOK! Give things some time to heal and with any lucky, things will get better and you can take a quick peak. But be realistic about your expectations and don’t expect things to line up they way they did for a good long time.

Not Being In Cape Cod Sucks!

A couple of weeks back, my dear friend Melissa and I deserted our family and responsibilities for a week long gal pal adventure to the cape. Sort of like a New England version of “Thelma and Louise” without the nasty dying part at the end. It was seven days of perfection filled with antiquing, ice cream, and the search for the best lobster roll on the cape made without too much mayonnaise and a simple toasted bun.

Now that I’m back and living the life fantastic filled with early morning school drop offs, football widow weekends, and folding fitted sheets, I long for the days of exploring town after town. I long for it so much that my newest obsession is finding a cottage in Brewster to call my own. Nothing much. Just an old shingled shack, close to the beach where I can spend my days writing and relaxing and shopping at the Brewster General Store for tea towels and penny candy.

This obsession is stuck in my head like a classic Beatle song or worse, a Wiggles tune that revolves around fruit salad, yummy yummy. That’s why I need your help. If anyone out there can tell me some negatives about living on the cape, please do so so I can finally get back to normal and clear my brain of thoughts of clean air, small town living, and the perfect lobster roll made witout too much mayonnaise and a simple toasted bun.