So I was leaving the mall yesterday, happy to have saved a few dollars by exchanging something I never wore for something new that I could give to a friend for her birthday. I turned on my car, backed up, and Crunch! Ding! Bam!, heard that dreadful sound of metal upon metal, a sound far worse than when I stepped on a snail when I was barefoot.
Holy crapola! How quickly elation can turn into despair. And how quickly a few extra saved bucks can plummet into a sea of debt. Richard, the man whose car I hit, couldn’t have been kinder. We assessed the damage (only a few scrapped bumpers) and traded information. There were proof of insurance forms, home phone numbers, license plates, policy numbers…we exchanged everything but bodily fluids. I know that in the scale of car accidents, this was as low as they go, but all day I felt like a big fat ol’ dung heap.
I just hate it when I do stupid things, which by the way, I do all the time. Not too long ago I tried to remove sap from my car hood with nail polish remover. Before that I forgot a friend’s kid who I was watching at a party. I’ve paid for groceries and then drove away without them as my forgotten cart remained in the store, and I’m constantly mailing letters without any stamps. I never did drugs as I kid so I can’t blame it on dying brain cells. I can only assume that I’m just plain stupid. As as Forrest Gump said, “Stupid is as stupid does.” And if I wasn’t so damn stupid, I’d know what the hell he was talking about.