My Stupidity Sucks

So I was leaving the mall yesterday, happy to have saved a few dollars by exchanging something I never wore for something new that I could give to a friend for her birthday. I turned on my car, backed up, and Crunch! Ding! Bam!, heard that dreadful sound of metal upon metal, a sound far worse than when I stepped on a snail when I was barefoot.

Holy crapola! How quickly elation can turn into despair. And how quickly a few extra saved bucks can plummet into a sea of debt. Richard, the man whose car I hit, couldn’t have been kinder. We assessed the damage (only a few scrapped bumpers) and traded information. There were proof of insurance forms, home phone numbers, license plates, policy numbers…we exchanged everything but bodily fluids. I know that in the scale of car accidents, this was as low as they go, but all day I felt like a big fat ol’ dung heap.

I just hate it when I do stupid things, which by the way, I do all the time. Not too long ago I tried to remove sap from my car hood with nail polish remover. Before that I forgot a friend’s kid who I was watching at a party. I’ve paid for groceries and then drove away without them as my forgotten cart remained in the store, and I’m constantly mailing letters without any stamps. I never did drugs as I kid so I can’t blame it on dying brain cells. I can only assume that I’m just plain stupid. As as Forrest Gump said, “Stupid is as stupid does.” And if I wasn’t so damn stupid, I’d know what the hell he was talking about.

2 responses to “My Stupidity Sucks

  1. For the stupid files – Yesterday, I tried to fill up my tank with diesel gas. the pump didn’t fit my car (thank God), but I came home with my near empty gas tank and couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Brant came to the rescue with a huge roll of his eyes. Three weeks ago, I flung open my car door – right into the jaguar that was coming down the street – wish that guy with the now dented door was driving a ford. – I live by those word – stupid is as stupid does.

  2. Chris (Fellow adventurer thru Menopauseland)

    Don’t worry, you are not stupid. Thinking it’s time to reread your own book Menopause Sucks! Blame it on the menopause, grab your keys and go back to the mall! Don’t forget to bring your ice packs. Think of it as riding a horse, you have to get back on and try again. If a little shopping therapy helps along the way so be it. While there don’t forget a sensible lunch and triple chocolate cake or death by chocolate to help with the trauma!

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